Opinion Forum

Spice, Sausage, and Bats

January 22nd, 2009

I’ve been reading weird news stories from 2008, and I came across these:

FRESNO, CA (AP) — Fresno County authorities have arrested a man they say broke into the home of two farmworkers, rubbed one with spices and whacked the other with a sausage before fleeing.

Fresno County sheriff’s Lt. Ian Burrimond said 22-year-old Antonio Vasquez of Fresno was found hiding in a nearby field wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks.

Burrimond said Vasquez was arrested after deputies found a wallet containing his ID at the ransacked house just east of Fresno.

The victims told deputies they awoke Saturday morning to the stranger applying spices to one of them and striking the other with an 8-inch sausage.

Burrimond said money allegedly stolen in the burglary was recovered. The sausage was tossed away by the fleeing suspect and eaten by a dog.

Well, I’ve heard of kids claiming the dog ate their homework. Now the cops can claim the dog ate their evidence.

A young British woman expressed surprise after finding a live baby bat in her bra. Abbie Hawkins, 19, harboured the creature in her bosom for over four hours and had felt a slight twitching but thought it was her mobile phone vibrating.

Begs the question, doesn’t it? If she thought it was her mobile phone, well…where does she normally keep her mobile phone?

CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa – It wasn’t just the caffeine that gave an Iowa woman an extra jolt after she had her morning coffee. It was also the bat she found in the filter.

The Iowa Department of Public Health says the woman reported a bat in her house but wasn’t too worried about it. She turned on her automatic coffee maker before bedtime and drank her coffee the next morning.

She discovered the bat in the filter when she went to clean it that night. The woman has undergone treatment for possible rabies.

Health officials say that the bat was sent to a lab but that its brain was too cooked by the hot water to determine whether it had rabies.

Yuck.

Articles written by Tom Carter
Tags: weird stories
Categories: Humor, Life, News | Comments (2) | Home

2 Responses to “Spice, Sausage, and Bats”

Doris | January 23rd, 2009 at 6:46 am

Well, sounds like one of those new coffee drinks, ala babiebat??? And, why didn’t she answer her cell for 4 hours? Maybe she likes the vibration??????????? Weird.

cube | January 23rd, 2009 at 11:35 pm

Comon, who doesn’t swat total strangers about the head with spices and sausage and carry around live bats in their bras? I mean, you make it all sound so surreal.