Opinion Forum

Know What Obama Could Use? A Snake Oil Czar

July 4th, 2010

President Obama is just one man. He clearly can’t sell all this snake oil himself.

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We have a disastrously inadequate petroleum reserve; there is a crisis. “We consume more than 20 percent of the world’s oil but have less than 2 percent of the world’s oil reserves,” or so President Obama recently proclaimed from the Oval Office. That’s terrible, and possibly even true, provided that only the oil present in the United States where drilling is permitted is considered. There’s lots of oil in them thar other hills, approximately fifty years worth. That may not be enough, and in any event those are all environmentally holy places rather than politically acceptable oily places.

According to Peggy Noonan, President Obama is starting to seem “snakebit.” While her anti-Obama rhetoric may be somewhat over the top, the proposal set forth below might help in her context as well. Not only would implementation bring to a close our sorry dependence on dead dinosaurs and stuff made from them which pollutes the atmosphere with toxic and ultimately deadly carbon dioxide, it would provide needed employment for the soon to be redundant census workers and give the Congress something worthwhile to do, instead of the busy-work now so strenuous and mind-numbing for them. There would be other advantages as well, and I am shocked that it has not previously been suggested.

A snake oil czar is needed, or even better, several. The domestic supply of snake oil is practically infinite, with no need to import it from hostile foreign countries such as Israel and Alaska, or for that matter, from our friends and allies such as Venezuela and Saudi Arabia. Even President Obama, despite his Herculean efforts and those of his many minions, has been unable to make a dent in the snake oil supply. Humbly, as he told us recently, he can’t do everything all by himself, not even suck up unwanted oil spills (or even tea spills) with a straw — with or without a stinkin’ badge. Although a change in job description might help a bit, it is far from a complete solution to the problem; indeed, it might even make matters worse. President Obama needs real help so that he can actually lead the country in the right best direction, and that is the basis of this proposal.

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Articles written by Dan Miller
Tags: czars, drilling, leadership, oil, President, reserves, satire, Senate, snake oil
Categories: Humor, Politics | Comments (2) | Home

2 Responses to “Know What Obama Could Use? A Snake Oil Czar”

larry ennis | July 4th, 2010 at 8:13 am

Geeez Dan
There you go again.
It’s guys like you that make the job of Messiah difficult.
If you only understood you’d know that you just don’t understand. The president and his friends in academia are trying very hard to save you from yourself.
Snake oil is an old and honored form of what later went on to become what is today fondly referred BS. A Czar for that particular commodity must surely be out there somewhere.

Dan, being a good citizen like you, I’ve spent many sleepless nights trying to find the perfect tax so this administration will have even more of my revenue to distribute to those more deserving than myself. I think I may have stumbled upon a perfect solution.

A flatulence tax to help save the planet from being consumed by deadly methane gas that is generated deep within us all. How about $25.00 per year for families and $15.00 for single persons. Young adults would start paying at age twenty one. And yes Dan, the Great Obama could appoint one of his friends to the post of Czar over all flatulence. How about a bumper sticker that proudly proclaims “I’ve paid my FLATulence taxes”. Vanity plates for your car stating “I’m Gas FREE”. How about a drive to save and store all that gas. Recycling taken to a new level.

Tom Carter | July 5th, 2010 at 11:52 am

Larry, I love your version of a flat tax. I have to wonder, though, if I would have to pay a surcharge because of my cat. Enough said about that….

Dan, I think there are several people in the Administration who are already responsible for pushing snake oil, starting with The Man himself.

But if the President wanted his snake oil czar to be the person best equipped, by proven performance, for the job, then it would be VP Biden for sure.