Opinion Forum

No, the DE Republican Primary Won’t Live in Infamy

September 17th, 2010

Nobody in the Washington establishment has been able to figure out what just happened.

There was a monster tornado on September 14 in Oz; Dorthy, kicking her heels together wildly, was swept up in it and found herself back in Kansas. The gold yellow brick road was destroyed. In response, the Obama Administration promised to divert $823,000 from a study of African genital washing stimuli to Oz, along with Vice President Biden and the Honorable Charles Rangel to assist in its distribution. To demonstrate the post-partisan nature of the effort, Karl Rove has agreed to go with them to help.

What caused the tornado, besides global warming and George Bush II, the root of all our national disgrace? Nobody in the Washington establishment has been able to figure it out. Karl Rove apparently complained that it was a man woman-caused disaster, and lamented that it was terrible and probably means the end of civilized politics as we have known and loved it. If the stupid tea party fascists want to screw up the Grand Old Party, they wouldn’t get any support. Michael Steele, the inappropriately surnamed chairman of the Republican National Committee, welcomed Ms. O’Donnell to the fold and sent an e-mail elaborating on her merits:

The people of Delaware have spoken. And just like voters across America, they are demanding commonsense conservative candidates who will focus on the issues that matter most to them: creating jobs, turning the economy around and protecting our most cherished freedoms.

Christine O’Donnell is exactly that type of candidate and the RNC is proud to support her and our entire slate of Republican candidates in Delaware. But with only 48 days until Election Day, time is running out for Republican grassroots leaders like you to help the RNC provide Christine and all our candidates with the campaign resources and direct financial assistance they need to win.

Please make an urgent contribution of $50, $75 or $100 to RNC Victory today to help fully fund the Victory Centers in Delaware and across the nation that are the key to winning the 39 seats in the House we need to Fire Nancy Pelosi and the ten we must capture in the Senate to Retire Harry Reid.

Your 2010 election contribution today is critical to ensuring Christine O’Donnell and every Republican candidate receives the get-out-the-vote and campaign support they need to fight back and win an historic victory for our Party and our country on November 2nd. Please give as generously as you can.

That’s cool. On the various conservative blogs, the reactions generally amounted to a hand gesture hardly amounting to clapping. By the morning of September 16, Ms. O’Donnell had received $750,000, and was shooting for $1,000,000 in post-September 14 contributions from those who might (or might not) otherwise have pledged the funds to the RNC. This was terrible. Ms. O’Donnell’s overloaded website crashed, a sure sign that even the internet gods (it was invented by Al Gore, don’t ya know) don’t like her. How could she possibly hope to win a Senate seat in November? It’s all madness! What’s a moderate RINO Republican to do? Weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth (if any) might help, but more is needed.

In The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, when Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent had escaped from the about-to-be-destroyed Earth by hitching a ride on a Volgon spaceship and the ship was about to go into hyperspace drive, Ford warned Arthur that it would be unpleasant: like getting drunk. Arthur questioned Ford why he thought that getting drunk was unpleasant. Ford answered, “Ask a glass of water.” The September 14 primaries, particularly in Delaware, were indeed rather like getting drunk for the GOP establishment, and the hangover may be even worse.

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Articles written by Dan Miller
Tags: Delaware, O'Donnell, Oz, primary, Republican, Rove, satire, Steele, wizard
Categories: Humor, News, Politics | Comments (3) | Home

3 Responses to “No, the DE Republican Primary Won’t Live in Infamy”

Brian | September 17th, 2010 at 7:49 pm

With sophistry like this,

The people of Delaware have spoken. And just like voters across America, they are demanding commonsense conservative candidates who will focus on the issues that matter most to them: creating jobs, turning the economy around and protecting our most cherished freedoms.

is there any wonder that the TEA party seems to be growing geometrically?

Government does NOT create jobs, nor does it create wealth. It is so far beyond credibility that anyone could believe in the Keynesian “multiplier effect” of government spending as to defy anything that even remotely resembles a rational thought. The only thing the government can do to spur the economy is to remove the burdens that it has imposed on business.

Tom Carter | September 18th, 2010 at 7:32 am

Conservatives who aren’t aligned with the tea party movement have taken a lot of hits from the far right lately because of their warnings about Republicans nominating fringe candidates supported by tea partiers, Sarah Palin in particular. I think they’re right. Nominating candidates like O’Donnell in Delaware and Angle in Nevada has probably cost the Republicans any chance they had of winning a majority in the Senate. O’Donnell probably won’t win in Delaware; Castle would have. Angle might not win in Nevada, either — that amounts to snatching defeat from the jaws of victory because a strong opponent probably could have beaten Reid.

So, if the Senate next year has a Democratic majority of two or three seats, I suppose tea partiers can take comfort in the fact that they got their way. It’s kind of like the petulant kid taking his ball and going home — he’s getting his way, but he’s out of the game.

Dan Miller | September 18th, 2010 at 8:26 am

Tom, I’m not too worried. I wrote here back in March,

This time, perhaps we can get it right; we had better. If a basic conservative is to become a viable presidential candidate for 2012, it’s already high time to think about it. One will emerge soon enough; too soon and he will be a lightning rod.

If the focus is on 2012, as I think it should be, it is not necessary for the Republicans to win control of the legislature this year, and it may not happen in any event. True, it is generally better and more satisfying to win than to lose. However, sometimes it is necessary to focus on the war rather on the immediate battle and thereby to sacrifice one objective in favor of other, more important basic objectives. Heresy of heresy, perhaps it might even be better if the Republicans didn’t win a majority in 2010 and sat proudly in an increased number of cheap seats for a little while longer. A “Hail Mary” pass perhaps, but if they do win a significant majority in 2010 it might well pave the way for another conciliatory middle of the road candidate in 2012; then, next verse, same as the first. Not a good thing.

Even if the Republicans do win majorities in both houses of Congress, they are very unlikely to win veto-proof majorities. President Obama can quite effectively disparage, and compensate for, congressional “obstructionism” by issuing executive orders regardless of whether the Republicans gain a simple majority or remain in the minority. The more ill-advised executive orders he issues, and the more harmful regulatory actions “his” regulatory agencies take — and we ain’t seen nothin’ yet — the more good red meat the conservatives will have in 2012 when it really matters.

Sometimes chemotherapy cures cancer and sometimes it doesn’t. It is unpleasant and often is a last resort; that seems to be where we presently are. With a strong conservative minority in the Congress and looking toward 2012, the Republicans — allied with the amorphous “tea baggers” but neither absorbing the other into oblivion — can help to point the country in a positive direction. If sufficient others sniff the wind and go along with them, President Obama may come to be seen as the overreaching “president of no!” There is nothing particularly dynamic about just say no; should that happen, President Obama’s chances of winning reelection will be further diminished and the chances of a real honest to goodness basic conservative becoming the president in 2013 will be enhanced.

I am, however, worried about some things, like this

Carl Paladino, a Republican candidate in next week’s primary election for governor of New York, styles himself as a conservative “Tea Party” candidate. Here’s what he says about the proposed Park 51 Islamic Center in Lower Manhattan:

“As governor, I will use the power of eminent domain to stop the mosque, and use the site as a war memorial instead of a monument to those who attacked our country.”

For a Tea Party movement whose adherents rail against bureaucracy and socialism, decry the legalized plunder of the corporate welfare state, and cite Hayek and Bastiat on their makeshift protest signs, Paladino’s message seems like a bandwagon headed in the wrong direction, and fast.

I don’t think the mosque should be built, but think the proposed use of eminent domain to block it would be contrary to our constitutional principles and very wrong. It would also run counter to my perceptions of the tea party basics, respect for the Constitution, America’s safety, and minimal governmental meddling. If those basics are shoved aside, we will have a real mess.