Opinion Forum

Dear Obama, Please Leave Me Alone

February 7th, 2011

Dear Obama,

I’m not a member of the elite. I’m not a millionaire and I don’t claim to have any power or influence. I’m just an average taxpayer who lives in fly-over country. On behalf of all the Suzy Homemaker’s and Joe Six-Pack’s who are my neighbors, I’d like to request a favor. Please, please, leave us alone.

With all due respect for your office, Mr. Obama, you were not elected to tell me what to do. You were elected to protect and defend my right to do it, as long as it’s not illegal. (Please refer to the 10th Amendment)

I left home years ago and have learned how to take care of myself. I don’t need or want you dictating to me how much salt I can use, where I can smoke, what car I can drive, which light bulbs to use, what temperature I set my thermostat to, which religions and sexual preferences I should respect, and which thoughts I can express. I know you’re all in favor of choice, so please respect mine. Please, please just leave me alone.

I’d also appreciate if you could leave my doctor, insurance company, bank, and employer alone. It seems that everything you do in my name just costs me more money. Money I can’t afford because I’m on a very tight budget for the next two years. And unlike you, I can’t just print some more. I would if I could. (Ha Ha, just kidding.)

While we’re on the subject, could you please pass along a message to your wife? Please tell her that, even though I am no “expert,” I’d prefer if she quit trying to regulate the behavior of my kids. I know best what their diet, education, and beliefs should be.

I know she’s spending a lot of our money on her good works, but I’m firmly convinced that if she just concentrated on Sasha and Malika — and her own garden — we would all be much better off.

I hope this doesn’t sound rude, Mr. President, but most of the stuff you and Michelle are doing up there in D.C. are things that are morally, legally, personally, and constitutionally just none of your business. You are not my daddy. Sir.

On a more positive note: Here’s a big shout out for your handling of the Egypt crisis. Even though it took a week, you finally took a stand. You looked very presidential.

Personally, I’m not convinced you should have chosen sides so early, but, like you, I was pretty sure everything would die down after your call to Mubarak. What a coup — all it took was one phone call from you and he decides to resign. Kudos.

Again, I’m no “expert,” but I’m getting pretty mad at those darn Muslims, especially after all your “outreach.” You’d think they would be grateful. Go figure.

I’m sorry your signature health care legislation has been ruled unconstitutional. It’s a good thing that ruling won’t affect your own health care plan. I’ve been worried at how skinny you’re getting.

And speaking of health care, I don’t mean to nag, but could you please cut down on your smoking? And maybe you should cut down on your partying, too. I know, I know, who am I to tell you what to do? But I do worry about you, and I don’t think America is ready for a President Biden.

I know you’re a busy guy, what with all the stuff you’ve decided to take on, but I hope you have time to read this letter. Granted, I’m just a nobody, but I do have a second cousin who used to work for G.E. – and my best friend belongs to a union. Oh, and I still have a vote, too. Even though I’m not dead yet. (That’s a joke.)

I hear you watched the Super Bowl with J Lo last weekend. How cool!

Take care and hang tight,

Nancy Morgan

(This article was also posted at Right Bias.)

Articles written by Nancy Morgan
Tags: Constitution, food, health care, light bulbs, nanny state, satire, smoking
Categories: Humor, Politics | Comments (7) | Home

7 Responses to “Dear Obama, Please Leave Me Alone”

Tom Carter | February 7th, 2011 at 4:52 pm

Interesting that after all of Michelle’s preaching about nutritious food, here’s what they served at the White House Super Bowl party: bratwurst, kielbasa, cheeseburgers, deep-dish pizza and Buffalo wings with sides of German potato salad, twice-baked potatoes and assorted chips and dips. Hypocrisy, anyone?

Brian | February 7th, 2011 at 5:19 pm

“Rules for thee and not for me…”

Dan Miller | February 7th, 2011 at 6:06 pm

Tom, How dare you use the vile word “Hypocrisy” in connection with President Obama. Please go wash your ~~mouth~~ keyboard out with soap this very instant; otherwise, I shall feel obliged to tell Mrs. Obama.

Tom Carter | February 7th, 2011 at 6:27 pm

Don’t get me wrong; I’m all for the White House menu, plus I’ll want to have a smoke after we eat and maybe a couple of full-up beers (none of that light stuff). Maybe they didn’t tell Michelle what the chow menu would be, and then she got mad and stomped off into her garden to hoe some weeds (that probably registered about a 3.7 on the Richter scale).

By the way, I once spilled a beverage into my keyboard. It dried and got kind of sticky — keys would push down, but wouldn’t come up. So I figured what the heck, and I flushed it out with warm water. Had to buy a new keyboard….

(I really did that.)

Dan Miller | February 7th, 2011 at 7:37 pm

We felt the earthquake here very early (00:46:25) this morning. It must have been pretty strong there since it was still of magnitude 5.2 and we felt it for at least thirty second when it finally arrived after coming all the way from Dallas.

Please be careful about smoking at the White House; our house is only about a year old and is structurally pretty sound from a seismic standpoint. Nevertheless, it might not withstand the results.

Lisa | February 8th, 2011 at 9:01 am

Of course it is hypocrisy. Could Michelle’s hips and thighs be all muscle and bone?

larry ennis | February 8th, 2011 at 10:17 am

Aw Lisa, the gal’s just big boned.
My grand dad would have said her hind-end was about three ax handles wide.
Nancy
This administration is apparently targeting the segment of our population that wants everything for free. The middle class is on the decline so why worry about what they think? This was well illustrated by the administrations efforts to ignore the wishes of the middle class concerning health care and spending.