Opinion Forum

St. Al the Gore May Have Tried to One-up Me

June 25th, 2011

In a satirical article, I recently suggested that the best and only sure way to prevent anthropomorphic climate change and the inconvenient truths of its attendant horrors is total abstinence from actual sex and reliance instead on virtual sex. I also suggested that former Congressman Weiner should show the way because of his intimate knowledge of the latter. Now, the renowned Al Gore may have come up with something almost as good but more palatable to many. It has been said that he wants all women under twenty-five to submit to voluntary sterilization for the good of the planet.

Former Vice President Al Gore is venturing into a touchy topic, presenting his new solution to combat the buildup of greenhouse gases warming the planet.

At first he was just advocating simply improving technology to reduce fossil fuel emissions, but now he is advocating “empowering girls and women, by sterilizing all women under 25.”

Al Gore believes that the sterilization should be voluntary – at first – “women who are evolved will volunteer to be sterilized for the greater good for planet.” BUT, if women do not choose to sterilize themselves, Al Gore believes that the government should force women (under 25) to be sterilized.

“We have to take drastic steps to save the planet. There are too many people – we must take aggressive action or we will all be dead,” Gore said in a speech Monday in New York.

“When the population begins to stabilize and societies begin to make better choices – then women can have babies again.”

The second article linked above is not identified as satire, by a tag or otherwise, and has no internal links identifying a reliable media article which may have reported Mr. Gore’s alleged remarks. The site does have quite a few articles that appear to be satirical. Still, it may be true. Another article at Daily Caller noted that during an appearance in New York Mr. Gore

offered some ideas about what might be done for females in the name of stabilizing population growth. (h/t Chris Horner via wattsupwiththat.com)

“One of the things we could do about it is to change the technologies, to put out less of this pollution, to stabilize the population, and one of the principle ways of doing that is to empower and educate girls and women,” Gore said. “You have to have ubiquitous availability of fertility management so women can choose how many children have, the spacing of the children.

The internal link within the Daily Caller article presents a YouTube video of Mr. Gore’s remarks, but sadly it has been “removed by the user.” So, it’s all a bit iffy.

Still, the concept should work if globally accepted and enforced. Whether women should begin having babies again following a twenty-five year hiatus is a difficult question but maybe it won’t have to be answered; the entire Earth may by then be underwater, an inconvenient truth.

(This article was first published at The PJ Tatler.)

Articles written by Dan Miller
Tags: anthropomorphic, babies, climate change, Gore, satire, sterilization, women
Categories: News, Politics, Science | Comments (6) | Home

6 Responses to “St. Al the Gore May Have Tried to One-up Me”

Clarissa | June 25th, 2011 at 10:42 pm

You joke, but the idea that the best way to “reduce one’s carbon footprint” is by not having children is very popular in environmentalist media.

Of course, it’s perfectly OK not to have children but this is a very weird reason to make that decision.

Dan Miller | June 26th, 2011 at 8:09 am

Well, yes. But then folks do lots of things for very weird reasons. Be that as it may, the idea advanced in my (also sarcastic) linked article — total cessation of all actual sexual activity and reliance instead on virtual sex — would indisputably bring all anthropomorphic climate change (if any) to an end, along with poverty, obesity and a bunch of other nasty stuff.

larry ennis | June 26th, 2011 at 9:51 am

Dan, right on my friend.
We need more folks to come up with idea’s about what needs to be done to preserve our planet and it’s environment. Sterilization of young women is a great start. We might as well sterilize the male population as well. Kind of the embodiment of the old saying about what is good for the goose is good for the Gander as well.
Then there is the matter of old Codgers and Codgerett’s like me.
Old people are notorious generating great volumes of methane gas with all kinds of chemicals and horrendous ordors. We might want to look into eliminating such sources of pollution.

Dan Miller | June 26th, 2011 at 5:04 pm

Larry, you say,

Old people are notorious generating great volumes of methane gas with all kinds of chemicals and horrendous ordors. We might want to look into eliminating such sources of pollution.

Now hold on. I turned seventy last week and think that’s a bad idea. However, I do favor youth in Asia, or something that sounds a bit like that, in some circumstances, and wrote a short story a couple of years ago with some suggestions and incentives along those lines. Unfortunately, those incentives were not incorporated into ObamaCare.

Tom Carter | June 27th, 2011 at 12:28 am

We need to think about this rather carefully. Who, exactly, will stop having children (and maybe even submit to sterilization) in response to the entreaties of Al Gore and his ilk? Greenies, basically, environmentalists who are almost universally liberal Democrats hanging out on the far left of the Party. The good news is that even though they tend to be intelligent and well-educated, they do our society more ill than good, and we’d be better off without their offspring bedeviling future generations. The bad news, however, is that the people least likely to engage in any form of voluntary limitation on reproduction are the ones we (and the rest of the world) could most do without. Even more Greenies would be better.

So, as they say, be careful what you wish for….

larry ennis | June 27th, 2011 at 11:15 am

But Tom, the beauty of Dan’s cut em all plan is that no political in-corrections occur. My addition of the male population makes everything even more fair for all concerned. Of course it would be better if these sterilization idea’s came from our liberal friends. As we all know. such an idea from a conservative would meet with very profound criticism. The liberals have a way with words in such affairs of saving the world from mankind.

Well Danny, you and me are near bouts the same age. Older than dirt?? Seriously, I hope your in good health and free of the many problems that I find myself plagued with.

Youth in Asia? Is that anything like old in Panama?