Opinion Forum

Support Governor Romney to Preserve the Status Quo

November 28th, 2011

The Status Quo is Great!

Here are the reasons to support Governor Romney:

♥ The transition from President Obama to President Romney will be less traumatic than the transition to any other Republican candidate because they are the most similar;

♥ Governor Romney created RomneyCare, the precursor to ObamaCare, a marvelous thing;

♥ He is an experienced politician and we need to help the political class to thrive now more than ever before. Outsiders are bad for the ~~political industry~~ country because they might upset the status quo;

♥ Washington, D.C. is the political, cultural and spiritual center of the ~~universe~~ ~~world~~ ~~country~~ Washington beltway and we must keep it that way. Otherwise, more of our already diminished exceptionalism will be lost;

♥ The wretched Scum of the Earth referred to as the Tea Party — who rarely drink tea, don’t even amount to a political party and can’t possibly get one of their favorites elected — will cease to flourish. Along with them will go all of the ~~conservative principles~~ partisan bickering in Washington they have produced;

♥ He has great hair and looks really presidential; that’s the most important qualification for the highest office in the nation. Celebrities need to be handsome and/or pretty (N.B. There is an important exception for very attractive conservative female presidential candidates);

♥ He neither smokes nor drinks and hence won’t get drunk and puff tobacco smoke in people’s faces;

♥ With such sterling qualifications as these his election in 2012 is assured and we will be forever done with President Obama. What more could we possibly demand? Support the Winner!

Oh, never mind. It wouldn’t make much difference, is not worth the effort and would be racist. Let’s just keep President Obama. After all, because of his great humility he is certain to do better during his second term. He has

admitted that he’s “screwed up,” is “frustrated” and might only deserve one term in the White House. He’s acknowledged that he hasn’t fulfilled campaign promises and has admitted that the change he vowed to bring to Washington hasn’t arrived.

Whether the self-critiques are born of political savvy, humility or candor, they help establish the president as an honest, sympathetic figure heading into the 2012 election, a leader willing to acknowledge that the sky-high expectations for his 2008 hope-and-change campaign have fallen short in reality.

Of course, we could try to elect a political neophyte like Herman Cain in a forlorn hope for change we ~~can believe in~~ need. But how could he possibly function in the Washington environment? Even brief pauses to think are disqualifying (thinking is an unknown luxury in austere Washington) and for a candidate to acknowledge that he doesn’t know something is worse. Could such a dunce find Capitol Hill on the map or, if he managed to get there, pronounce the names of some of our most experienced and revered congressional leaders? Might Senator Reid come out “Uzi-uzi-pelosi-pelosi-reid-istan-reid-istan?” We can’t have that sort of thing! It would be a grave error to expect minimal competence, even with helpful guidance from the Washington insiders who would flock to him.

Don't Worry! Be Happy! Support Romney!

Note: Neither Governor Romney nor anyone associated with his campaign has approved this message.

(This article was also posted at Dan Miller’s Blog.)

Articles written by Dan Miller
Tags: Cain, election, experience, Obama, Romney, RomneyCare, satire, Tea Party
Categories: Humor, Politics | Comments (7) | Home

7 Responses to “Support Governor Romney to Preserve the Status Quo”

Dan Miller | November 28th, 2011 at 2:25 pm

On a more ~~sober~~ serious note, most of the beef raised here in Panama is fed no corn, only grass. For that reason, it has very little flavor. It’s also a bit tough but there are ways of making it reasonably tender.

Governor Romney does not strike me as very tough but does come across as excessively bland. Could he be fed lots of corn between now and January of next year? It might give him more flavor; whether it would be a desirable flavor is unknown.

larry | November 28th, 2011 at 5:59 pm

Hey good buddy Dan
I know that Tom and maybe you as well think I’m a nut. Actually I’m just very dedicated to my beliefs.
Now, having got that off my chest I’ll move on to Mitt Romney.
He is very much like his father. George Romney was of course a Republican governor in Michigan back in the late fifties. He defeated G.Mennen Williams to get the office. Williams wasn’t very bright in a political sense but was advised by some of the best “Smokey Room” politico’s east of Chicago.
Romney had made his mark when he formed American Motors using the failing Nash and Hudson automobile companies. His efforts resulted in a company that was never one of the Big Three but was turning a profit for the stock holders not to mention the several hundred jobs he saved. American Motors was eventually bought out by Chrysler.
George, much like Mitt, was very honest and some times naive to a fault. He’d ran using the slogan “Let George do it”. The “hacks” and the labor unions that had controlled the statehouse took advantage of the new governor at every turn.In spite of the opposition,the senior Romney did a decent job for which he got little or no credit.
George didn’t last long in the governors office. One term as I recall. He did however get the attention of the RNC. Johnson was about to run for his first term after finishing out Kennedy’s four years.George decided to try for the Republican nomination to run against LBJ. Early into his efforts he appeared on a local(Detroit area)talk show with a journalist named Lou Gordon. Gordon got Romney to admit that he’d been “Brain washed” about our involvement in southeast Asia. That was all it took. Gordon in his Detroit News column question Romney’s ability to lead if he could be so easily “Brain Washed”. Will we have a “Like father,like son” moment?
I like Mitt but will he have the temperament for the job?

Dan Miller | November 28th, 2011 at 6:05 pm

Larry, I like Mitt but will he have the temperament for the job?

Maybe, but I haven’t seen it thus far.

d | November 29th, 2011 at 4:28 am

L.O.L.,join the group,fellow nut. Oh,but Dan,it it would be so much better to have a woman chaser,too busy to run anything,except after women,in the Whitehouse. We don’t need more scandelous behavior,a little bland,sounds good to me. A few boring morals,would be very nice,if,they do exist,in politics. At least with Romney,we don’t know all the gorey details,if their are any,with Cain,we do,and he is a scoundral. I do not trust men,who appear to be and are, indeed,untrustworthy.
Cain can’t even admit to his 13 year affair. He is a cheat and a liar,and has zero experience,in politics. You love that about him,the inexperience,but you hate that about Obama,a bit of the flip-flop?

Dan Miller | November 29th, 2011 at 9:09 am

d,

You probably are unaware of the disturbing allegations made or about to be made concerning Governor Romney.

He goes through bimbos as though they were bread merely for his pleasure. He does this even in his own home with family members present.

He is a flagrant Homo sapiens who for years has been practicing celibacy all by himself. He has been seen on repeated occasions masticating in public restaurants, and he frequently vacillates during public ceremonies at the Governor’s residence!

He is a confessed heterosexual who advocates and even participates in social intercourse in mixed company.

His very home is a den of propinquity and there, in the privacy of his own residence, he practices nepotism and extroversion with members of his own family.

Now let’s take a close look at the salubrious acts committed by the members of the Governor’s family:

It is a controvertible fact that his father, who died of a degenerative disease, made his money publishing phonographic magazines and distributing pamphlets about horticulture.

His mother was a known equestrienne who nourished colts on her country estate and practiced her diversions out in the field.

His daughter, who is powerfully attracted to sects, is a well-known proselyte, who accosts lay people outside of churches.

Not surprisingly another daughter pursues a hortative life and offers advice filled with hoary platitudes.

His nephew matriculates openly at Harvard University and is a member of an all-male sextet.

For many years his niece was employed as a floorwalker, and she practiced her calling in some of our city’s best department stores.

His cousin was known to consort with numismatists and philatelists and spent three years living in a Buddhist colony.

His uncle, a purveyor of used condominiums, went to movies almost every night and turned into a heroine addict.

His aunt was so susceptible to moral suasion that she tried to implement oral hygiene in our schools.

And at this very moment the Governor’s wife is off in wicked New York City living the life of a thespian and performing her histrionic acts before paying customers!

Do you want a man with such an explicable and veracious reputation occupying the nation’s highest public office and setting an example for our youth, who under his influence might convert to altruism?

Clearly a vote for Governor Romney is a vote for the perpetuation of all we hold dear. A vote against him is a vote for the very antithesis of the American way.”

I of course do not vouch for these accusations, but thought you should be made aware of them.

d | November 30th, 2011 at 5:05 am

Very funny,indeed,Dan. Okay,he is boring,better than the alternative.

larry | December 1st, 2011 at 6:19 pm

dnDan
Well they is Mormons ya no. Thats even badder than a southern baptist.
I mean what kinda folks would settle in what was
mostly desert covered in sea gul do=do.