i deserv, i mean lik, yu no, more betr edutasion

March 15th, 2012

By Dan Miller

the wurld aint fare and i deserv lots more betr stuff then i get.  mostli i deserv a gudd edutasion so i kan hav lotsa monie two liv gud and sav th wurld like i wanna.

i weasted twelve years of mi lyfe in skools and done gradueted. stil peple tell me i kant bearly read an rite.  i kan but if i kant aint mi falt.  its th falt of mi parnts and evrybudy elce. skool was reel hard and sumtimes i had to go irregardless of weather i wanted too or not.  if i had been bourne mani years ago ida been a membr


Al Capp’s SWINE

of thys grup excep maibe thei wodn’t hav let mi joyn becaus thei coulda thout i wasn smrt enugh o sumfin.  stupd jrks.

Know evn tho I wel kwalified i kant get no gud job like i deserv that pais lota of gud monie sew i kan liv lik i wanna no mater ho hard i tri.  them kapitalysts wont gime ani and nither wl anibodi els. wifout lots monie i kant liv lik i wanna and mak the wurld a betr plac lik i wanna. its unfare.

therefor I dimand the folowyn:

two be sent to ani kolege of mi choyce and givn free tuytun, buks, fud, lotsa monie fur livin lik i wanna and a gud playce to liv four for years or hoevr longe it take mi to git thru. since im rel smrt an dont ned mor then a koleg degre aniwai it shudnt take mi two longue maibe jus a cupla yers.

to be aloud to do whatsoevyr i want whensoevr i so want and not two have nobodi interfre wif mi lyfe.

not too have two studi nothin i don want two and not too hav two studi nothin tuo hard.

two be aloud to study whatsoevyr i want, and whinevr, wearevyr, and howevir, i want.

not two be bothured with no grades and no dekadnt stuf lik thet.

to git graduated whn i sa im ready. them kolege techers dont no nuthin and r stuped.

to be garaunted a govrnmnt subsudie or at leest a hi payin job lik segretari (i kan tipe rel gud) o educasin o sumfin whn i graduated at leest $75000 each yer for startrs.

not too hav to pai no taxs for ten yers aftr i graduated. taxs on peple lik me r unfare.

thse nonnegotible demands is veri reasonabil and is mi guarantyud humen rites undr the konstituton.

thets all i dimand write no and i want all off thim write no. If i don’t get thim al write no ill go on a hungary stryke and thatll sho yo stupyd jyrks. When i get thim heres what ill mak hapyn:

th sees gonna stop getin hire.

th ayr wil b clen jus lik mi.

th clymat will stop changin.

free stuff

thirll be lotsa good stuf fur averybody an itl al be frie.

peopel will vot jus lik i tel thm.

hohoho! neu stufs waa in and old stufs gotta go!

(This article was also posted at Dan Miller’s Blog.)

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2 Responses to “i deserv, i mean lik, yu no, more betr edutasion”

  1. Tom Carter |

    If you can read and understand this, thank your local teachers’ union representative.

    As the two cartoons indicate, the more things change the more they stay the same. There will always be users and takers who demand that the rest of us support them. I don’t blame them so much as I blame us.

    I would also note that people like this should be provided with free contraception. We’d all be better off if they didn’t reproduce. To quote the great Oliver Wendell Holmes in Buck v. Bell,

    It is better for all the world, if instead of waiting to execute degenerate offspring for crime, or to let them starve for their imbecility, society can prevent those who are manifestly unfit from continuing their kind…. Three generations of imbeciles are enough.

    I know, I know…that decision has long been in disgrace because it supported eugenics. But still….

  2. Dan Miller |


    i jus don no. i kant mak up mi mynd. jus as longue as wi git lotsa fre stuf, it dont matr nun.

    how dair yo atak th diervin pur. thats wikd. i is al in favur of youthinasia ceptin thm yallr ons, but holms (ani relatin to sherlok?) wer rong.

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