Opinion Forum

Biden Wins Debate, Will Now Investigate Foreign Campaign Contributions

October 12th, 2012

The decision to send him to China to get to the bottom of the mess was made during last night’s debate.

Proverbs 29:9 When a wise man has a controversy with a foolish man, the foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no rest.

Vice President Biden was the clear winner, on points, of last night’s debate.

Here are the points:

Interruptions — Biden 82, Raddatz fewer, Ryan none except when Biden was misusing Ryan’s time.

Guffaws — Biden continuous, Ryan none.

Contempt shown for opponent — Biden continuous, Ryan rarely.

Since style trumps substance, these are the points that matter and may help to atone for President Obama’s less than stellar debate performance last week; that was the purpose of the vice presidential debate. Vice President Biden also demonstrated, yet again, the greatness of President Obama’s wisdom in selecting him to be his vice president.

Vice president Joe Biden showed last night that he is not qualified to be a heartbeat away from the presidency. There was no dignity, circumspection, courtesy, civility, or presidentiality in his performance in the debate with GOP contender Congressman Paul Ryan.

Biden came over as a windbag and a demagogue. His constant interruptions, his phony and [in]appropriate laughter and his grimace of a smile framed his bombast and looked like a schoolboy making faces at a rival. He had the manners and affect of a longshoreman at a union hall or a brawler in a bar.

President Obama recognized these qualities when he acknowledged at the Democrat National Convention that he had been “the best vice-president I could ever hope for.”

Vice President Biden is off to China.

The Vice President’s debate preparation was instrumental in helping him to highlight President Obama’s own exceptional presidential qualities, in which he succeeded brilliantly. Indeed, his performance was so successful that the administration decided, even as the debate was in progress, that he had already done more than enough to assist the campaign and that he was needed for another, even more important, task.

Based on his foreign policy expertise, aggressiveness, mind-boggling sense of humor and cautious approach to uncovering the obvious, he was chosen as the President’s special envoy to China, where he will investigate specious Republican claims that some of President Obama’s campaign contributions may have come, unlawfully, from foreign sources there. It is anticipated that this task may take up to a month. If he finishes there before November 7th, he will go immediately to Libya to spearhead a continuing, but thus far unfruitful, investigation into the many reasons why a vile Islamophobic video was the sole cause of massive protests there last month.

Given a sedative immediately following the debate, the Vice President was led to an unmarked automobile and had no opportunity to speak to the press. However, as soon as his absence was noted, the President’s Press Secretary calmed fears that he may have had a complete mental breakdown by explaining where he had been sent and why. The Press Secretary stated that the Vice President had been humbled but deeply moved by the unusual trust placed in him and that he had promised to do his best to get to the bottom of the malicious lies being told.

The Press Secretary offered no explanation (and was not asked for one) of whether President Obama had mentioned the new assignment during his pre-debate Good Luck, Joe telephone call. However, it has been speculated that the President did not want to offer any distractions to interfere with the Vice President’s flexibility to be himself during the debate.

According to a later on-the-scene report, a janitor at the college where the debate had been held saw the Vice President as he was being sedated and informed of his new duties. Although he had at first seemed displeased that he would not be able further to assist President Obama on the campaign trail, he had soon laughed ~~demonically~~ pleasantly enough while acknowledging the vastly greater importance to the nation of his duties in China and in Libya than his own further political posturing, something that the President is fully capable of doing himself without further assistance.

Secretary Clinton is expected to replace the Vice President on the campaign trail. Assuming the position immediately following the debate, she promptly attacked Congressman Ryan as well as Governor Romney for their ungentlemanly restraint in disagreeing with President Obama’s foreign policies in general and in Libya in particular.

“I am sick and tired of people who say that if you debate and you disagree with this administration somehow you’re not patriotic. We should stand up and say we are Americans and we have a right to debate and disagree with any administration.”

Here is a recording of her earlier remarks on a similar subject.

Although the Obama Campaign’s reluctant parting with Vice President Biden immediately after his victory might conceivably handicap the Administration in its quest for another four years, it was recognized that the substitution of Secretary Clinton will help to even the score and will not interfere in any way with the continued implementation of President Obama’s brilliant foreign policy initiatives. (Note: an interview with former U.N. Ambassador Bolton comes about four minutes into the video.)

Secretary Clinton’s absence from day-to-day leadership in foreign policy matters in favor of campaigning is expected to be helpful to President Obama as he continues to implement his wise “blame America first” policies in pursuit of more resets with former enemy nations and Nobel Prize-worthy efforts to bring peace and love in our time.

(This article was also posted at Dan Miller’s Blog.)

Articles written by Dan Miller
Tags: Biden, debate, fool, laughter, Ryan, satire, sedated, smirks, unhinged
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One Response to “Biden Wins Debate, Will Now Investigate Foreign Campaign Contributions”

Tom Carter | October 12th, 2012 at 7:51 pm

The debate was a painful, cringeworthy mess. I began to wonder if Biden was losing it — about to have a stroke or something. Ryan tried to be calm and cool and do a professional job, but I can’t imagine what he must have been thinking with all the laughter, giggling, and smirking going on just to his right.

Who won it? I don’t know. I’m sure many Democrats loved Crazy Ol’ Joe, and Republicans were encouraged by Ryan’s performance despite the inane distractions.

I’ll just be glad when we finally get to Nov 6 and all this is over with.