Opinion Forum

Government Needs to Get Bigger. Quickly.

May 20th, 2013

There is far too much subversion for a small Government to handle. The Administration needs to be protected no matter how high the cost.

Considering all the matters with which our grand and glorious Federal Government is forced to deal on a daily basis we need more, not less, of it. It cannot be expected adequately to respond to the many vicious attacks coming from the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy unless it expands sufficiently to deal with them. Here, for example, is a vile attack published by one member of that disgraced conspiracy, the Daily ~~Pest~~ Beast.

Following the attack in Benghazi, senior State Department officials close to Hillary Clinton ordered the removal of a mid-level official who had no role in security decisions and has never been told the charges against him. He is now accusing Clinton’s team of scapegoating him for the failures that led to the death of four Americans last year.

For shame! The jerk who did it, as well as the jerk who publicized it, need to be tarred, feathered and ridden out of Foggy Bottom on rails — harvested in an environmentally friendly way, using feathers plucked harmlessly from chickens (preferably from their right wings) and the tar on which does not worsen the already horrid threat of global warming. This must be done, quickly, before the jerk who did it attempts more atrocious poetry.

The web of lies they weave
gets tighter and tighter
in its deceit
until it bottoms out –
at a very low frequency –
and implodes…Yet all the while,
the more they talk,
the more they lie,
and the deeper down the hole they go… Just wait…
just wait and feed them the rope.

Robert Frost, rest in peace; you have not been bested. Neither have the Vogons.

Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem “Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning” four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been “disappointed” by the poem’s reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled “My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles” when his own major intestine–in a desperate attempt to save life itself–leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex, in the destruction of the planet Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison.

Former Secretary of State Clinton, the very soul of poetry, must respond poetically — after she recovers from her in Bosnia trauma and her other traumas arising from the Benghazi kerfuffle — with which she had nothing to do.

We have all heard outraged responses to various IRS scandals, Benghazi, Department of Justice wiretaps and the like. There is no way that our system of limited, constitutional Government can deal with these ~~bimbo like~~ eruptions unless it has more resources and more ideologically-correct employees to fight back against the Daily Pest and even more malicious reports from other voices of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. They must all be silenced. For example, Bryan Preston at PJ Tatler complained on May 20th that

Catherine Engelbrecht founded King Street Patriots and True the Vote to monitor and stop voter fraud. She and her husband, Bryan, operate a small manufacturing business outside Houston, Texas that employs about 30 people.

After Catherine founded the two groups, she soon found herself publicly accused by Sen. Barbara Boxer and other prominent Democrats of “suppressing” Democratic voters, though her actual actions involved training citizens to monitor polls on election day. I’ve witnessed True the Vote’s training sessions myself. There is nothing suppressive about them at all. …

Her application was put through questioning similar to inquiries other groups have reported, including questions about her political aspirations, the groups’ Facebook posts, etc.

She was subjected to four rounds of IRS questioning.

Her family business was audited by the IRS, as were her family’s personal finances.

Her business was subjected to Occupational Health and Safety Administration audits. OSHA found only minor problems, and subjected the Engelbrechts’ business to $25,000 in fines.

Her business was subjected to an unannounced audit by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and explosives.

The Federal Bureau of Investigations inquired about someone who had visited one of Engelbrecht’s meetings, and subsequently called up the Engelbrechts just to ask “how they were doing.”

All of this, over the course of about two years, and all of it came after Mrs. Engelbrecht became politically active. Engelbrecht gained national attention after Andrew Breitbart became aware of her groups and spoke at one of its meetings (I introduced Breitbart at that meeting). It’s no secret that the Obama administration viewed Breitbart as one of its chief enemies, along with Fox News and the Tea Party.

Isn’t that the way it should be? Isn’t that the way it has to be if our free and democratic society is to survive? After all, the common good (properly defined as free stuff for Obama Administration supporters and whatever else it may be declared to mean) is more important to the well being of our nation than frivolous concerns about the Constitution — a bunch of dreary, ancient and therefore irrelevant scribblings by fortunately now long dead White males, some of whom even owned slaves. Ho, Ho Ho. The Constitution’s gotta go!

Government is the fountain of all prosperity and of everything else healthy and otherwise good. If you don’t believe me, just ask President Obama the next time you meet him on the golf course or at a fund raiser.

Without more employees and the appropriations needed to attract and pay them, the United States as we know ~~them~~ it cannot much longer survive. We must all demand that it happen and that the silly debt limit be eliminated. Our Government can afford to borrow all that it needs. The filthy undeserving ~~Republican~~ ~~middle class~~ rich must pay. That’s the Democratic way.

Oh well, let’s hope that these old fashioned Scots won’t make an appearance.