Opinion Forum

Conservation for the Sake of Our Children Is Far More Important than Mere Cost

December 12th, 2011

Green stuff is scarce and is too important to waste.

Last week, the Navy signed a contract with two biofuel companies to purchase 450,000 gallons of advanced biofuels at $12 million to assist in President Obama’s goal to establish a domestic biofuels industry and to advance it in ways that do not require Congressional approval. Of course, given the Navy’s mission, they claim to be pursuing biofuels to ensure adequate fuel in the future without relying on crude from the Middle East or other overseas sources that may be a threat to our national security. While this purchase is only a drop in the bucket compared to the Navy’s annual usage of more than 670 million gallons, their goal is to fuel a normal Navy mission with a 50-percent blend of biofuels and gasoline by 2016.

The Navy pays $26 a gallon for the biofuel and after combining it with the oil product in a 50/50 blend obtains a fuel that costs $15 per gallon. That is almost 4 times the cost of JP-5 jet fuel, which runs $3.97 per gallon. An MIT study of alternative jet fuels, conducted in association with the Navy, found that even under optimal conditions, the price of bio jet fuel would still be twice as high as the cost of the traditional jet fuel.[iii]

A recent scientific study commissioned by an anonymous benefactor known only as “Kermit” and undertaken by the Green Food Now Foundation (GFNF) determined that the difference between $15.00 and $3.97 per gallon is approximately $11.03 and that the cost differential between JP-5 and the 50/50 blend multiplied by 450,000 gallons is $4,963,500 — enough to buy 1.65 million hot, tasty and suitably green-based lunches for starving Occupy Wall Street protestors and their countless kindred spirits at roughly $3.00 each. The poor and hungry darlings need food! They can and do smoke grass, but they can’t eat it and there’s the beef. Can’t the selfish military murderers of women, children and other innocents in the Navy overcome their uncivilized emotions and behave reasonably, as all right-thinking people know they should?

Here’s a suggestion: the Army, but not the Navy, has green uniforms. Having its own green uniforms might well satisfy the Navy’s green envy sufficiently to keep them from pursuing such nonsense. Do their ships and things need expensive green fuels? Of course they don’t. They can just as easily use old fashioned blackish-brownish oil and there’s plenty of that stuff in the ground. Were it not for their obviously racist tendencies, they would do so unquestioningly. Oil could easily be used instead of our precious green resources at about one fourth of the cost and the funds thereby saved could be spent instead to empower the poor by giving them nutritious vegetarian meals. Of far greater importance, this would save the scarce green stuff for those who really need it. The resultant benefits for society would be truly incalculable.

He is already examining the problem with experts.

There is a great surfeit of oily fat cat Republicans in the Congress who want to preserve all oil deposits held by Gaia for the exclusive use of Haliburton and similar greedy capitalists. They alone, along with the naval establishment, are obviously to blame for insisting on this nonsense. Where is our hero, President Obama? Surely, he will do something about it just as soon as can figure out what to do and then obtain reluctant approval from the worst, most racist and most obstructionist Congress in the history of the human race. Yes he can and Yes he Must. The great conservationist, Theodore Roosevelt, demands nothing less of him and neither can we. We must think of the future — it’s for the children.

(This article was also posted at Dan Miller’s Blog.)

Articles written by Dan Miller
Tags: biofuels, conservation, cost, energy, environment, oil, satire, U.S. Navy
Categories: Military, News, Politics | Comments (3) | Home

3 Responses to “Conservation for the Sake of Our Children Is Far More Important than Mere Cost”

Dan Miller | December 12th, 2011 at 5:48 pm

I was told yesterday by a Navy fanatic that Navy beat Army in what I suppose must have been an athletic contest of some sort. This clearly shows that despite its green uniforms, even the Army has quite a ways to go before it achieves green perfection.

When will they ever learn, when will t h e y ever learn?

Tom Carter | December 13th, 2011 at 2:04 am

There’s a malicious rumor floating around in the left-wing media, which is well known to be highly biased in favor of naval persons, that Navy beat Army for the 10th year in a row in some obscure kind of sports match. Croquet or something, I guess. I grant such rumors no credence. Unless John Fogerty is involved.

And, apropos of keeping up with the times, the Army has gone from the Class A green uniform of many years past to the blue uniform that was once for semi-formal/formal wear. That uniform, with dark blue jacket, light blue trousers (or dark skirts, for female soldiers and opponents of DADT) and white shirts is steeped in tradition. Which is a good thing, within limits. Now the Army is going around looking like George Armstrong Custer, except for those continuing to wear the green uniform for the next couple of years that it’s allowed. Progress is a great thing, but not in this case.

Dan Miller | December 13th, 2011 at 9:00 am

Tom, I am very disappointed in the modern Army. Are plans already in gestation eventually to substitute dress mess for the less ostentatious blue uniforms? Aside from sheer ostentation, will the U.S. Army emulate the French in other ways as well? Will guidons soon be white? Alternative pink guidons perhaps will be used when two units march together and distinguishable guidons are needed.

The switch to mess dress could certainly help about-to-be-RIFed officers to fit into civilian society as headwaiters in fancy establishments, but while still on active duty there might be difficulties in maneuvering.

Sadly, that’s not the worst of it. With blue rather than green uniforms, be they dress blues or dress mess, it seems likely that even those in the Army will develop green envy, obviously now the bane of the Naval establishment. Soon, this envy will result in the use of bio-fuels in increasing numbers of Army vehicles and even aircraft.

Civilization as we know it is in its terminal phase. Oh well.