Opinion Forum

Gems from Drudge

July 15th, 2012

Like millions of other people in the world, I started my daily tour of news and commentary with the Drudge Report.

Matt Drudge, whose Drudge Report gained early fame by breaking the Bill Clinton – Monica Lewinsky story after Newsweek spiked it, is often accused of being a conservative ideologue. He probably is, personally, but his website aggregates more than just conservative-oriented news items. But what’s more interesting and often very entertaining are the headlines he chooses to use as links to the news. The headlines frequently don’t reflect the real content of the stories they link to, but that’s just picking nits.

If all you read are Drudge’s headline links, you can’t be blamed for coming away with a confused and often bizarre view of the day’s events. That’s particularly true if you combine the logic of more than one headline into a single idea. It can make you crazy, to put it mildly.

A few examples from today’s Drudge Report:

On the London Olympics: “Security guards ‘may not speak English’… Anti-terror supercomputer collapses… Competitors told Olympic Park not ready… Heathrow checks miss terror suspects…” Remember, you’re not supposed to read the stories themselves, just the headlines. Seems like the smartest thing for spectators and athletes alike would be to stay at home and watch it on TV, which I suppose would consist of Islamist terrorists blowing up unfinished facilities.

About Obama and his campaign: “If you’ve got a business, you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen… OUTSOURCED: Obama Campaign Holding Fundraisers in Switzerland, Sweden, France — Even China…” Nothing new here, folks; just move along.

On France: “French Demand British Crown Jewels From Queen to Compensate For 1499 Murder…” Well, why not. I suppose the French have run out of other people’s money in France to support their lazy lifestyles. Why not get it from those stupid Brits?

On lawyers: “LAWYER CONVICTED OF LICKING CLIENT’S EAR… SNAP: Woman Breaks Into House, Changes Locks, Puts Up Blinds, Refuses to Identify Herself…” Probably just hiding from her lawyer….

On women: “Women overtake men in IQ tests for first time in 100 years… Attendance by women down at annual atheist conference…” Actually, this makes sense. On several levels.

Maybe President Obama stopped by for a late-night snack? “Family returns home to find dead dog in oven…”

So, scan Drudge’s headlines every morning, and let loose the reins on your mind. Just don’t blame me for what happens.

Articles written by Tom Carter
Tags: Drudge Report, headlines, sanity
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